If you've ever wondered why there have been so many mentions of the Red Sox on this blog that is supposed to be about losing weight, yesterday the planets came into perfect alignment and the question was answered.
According to his "38 Pitches" blog, 40-year-old pitcher Curt Schilling agreed to a 1-year contract to remain with the Sox Monday night, and the contract includes a $2 million weight incentive.
Yes, $2 million. All he has to do for that $2 million is "make weight" at 6 randomly scheduled weigh-ins during the course of the year.
What a country, hmm? It does make good sense both for the player and the team, and my guess is that it will make a big difference in helping Schill to meet the other key incentive in his contract, which parcels out up to $4 million as he hits certain levels in innings pitched.
So, many people might be a little envious here and lament the fact that we all can't pick up a serious check just by having a salad or two, I am a caring, giving spirit (and a Sox fan for lo these past 50 years).
My mission here is to offer some assistance.
The challenge for Curt, I think, is the challenge that I've faced and so many men face when they are at that cusp between the end of their serious "jock" career and, er, whatever it is that comes afterward. Curt's facing it at 40, whereas most men face it in their 20s or 30s.
You believe that you can work your way back into shape just by punishing your body in the gym, on the field, etc. Changing what you eat is only a minor consideration. You think you can cut back on a beer or two, drop the desserts (at least until after midnight), and cover for it all by burning off a thousand calories a day at the gym. A guy who is in pretty good shape can make that work for a while, but he runs the risk of overtraining, especially when his body is beginning to break down a little bit to begin with.
So here's what Curt needs to do. He's 6'4" and he will turn 41 a week from today. Although his baseball bio says he weight 215, I suspect that's what he weighed 
when he was photographed for this 1988 New Britain Red Sox baseball card. My estimate is that he goes 275 to 280 now.
At 275, with moderate exercise, his basal metabolic rate to maintain that weight is 3,822 calories a day. If he cuts 1,500 calories a day from that figure, he can still eat over 2,300 calories a day, which allows for plenty of good steaks, chicken and seafood and even an occasional dessert or beer. (One or the other, not both).
It's not rocket science. It's that simple.
Do the math, dude.
At that rate, he'll lose 3 pounds a week (1500 x 7 / 3500 = 3) between now and mid-February, when pitchers and catchers report to Spring training. He'll weigh 235 then, he'll look great, and he'll be ready to pitch. He'll still be strong as a bull, and he'll have a little extra jingle in his pocket.
If he keeps it up through the season, he could get down to his rookie playing weight by the World Series and then in 2009, his first year of retirement, he'll be able to run the Boston Marathon with his lovely wife Shonda. Which will no doubt lead to another bloody sock.
The real benefit would be long-term, of course. Like me, Schill has a choice between going through the rest of his life as a load or as a healthy, relatively fit guy. As my friend Nick has mentioned, being 6'4" or 6'5" can cover for you only for a while. I fully expected to start seeing Schill at Subway and BoLoco when I am there to pick up my calorie-counted subs and burritos.
Go, Schill!
Update: As you are probably already aware, the point was moot. Schilling's arm problems kept him from ever rejoining the active Red Sox roster again, and he retired from baseball without -- one assumes -- ever getting paid for a weigh-in.
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